7:00 pm. Sitting in a hotel room with my team. We know the genre. Detective/Cop. Waiting on the other criteria. Some people are writing already, I want to wait for all the criteria.
7:02 pm. Stakeout? Scene of the crime? Anatomy of a crime syndicate? Much will depend on the required character. Will probably use the woodsy house that we have available to us.
7:06 pm. Character: Uncle Hank or Aunt Henrietta
Prop: Chess Piece
Line of Dialogue: "I didn't see that coming."
Prop: Chess Piece
Line of Dialogue: "I didn't see that coming."
7:36 pm. Had a more or less serious idea about a stakeout, then thought about a funny option. Will work on that.
8:07 pm. Reading our ideas out loud right now. I like my idea, but everyone has ideas, of course.
8:37 pm. Everyone putting forth ideas without direction. This is turning into what I warned them against.
9:47 pm. After two scripts read through, one is chosen. We've opted for the silly, which should be fun, but I'm not sure it makes sense.
9:51 pm. The script I wrote they didn't choose, typos and all. It would have needed some work, of course.
Checkmate
By Greg Lam
Genre: Detective/Cop
Character: Uncle Hank or Aunt Henrietta
Prop: Chess Piece
Line of Dialogue: "I didn't see that coming."
Character: Uncle Hank or Aunt Henrietta
Prop: Chess Piece
Line of Dialogue: "I didn't see that coming."
Int. Viewing Room
In a detective line-up room, ANNA KING, a sobbing woman in white sits in a chair. She clutches a picture of an older man.
AUDREY FISCHER, a detective and two lawyers hover around. WANDA WHITE wears light clothing, DARIUS DARK wears dark clothing.
WANDA
Ms. King. I'm sorry, but if you're up to this, we'd like to run the line up. I'm sure your Uncle Hank would want that.
Darius
Yes. Let's get this farce over with.
Wanda
Darius, your cooperation would be much appreciated.
Darius
Certainly, counselor. I'm sure you'll find my client will be happy to be exonerated of all charges.
MS. KING
I'm... I'm ready. Let's me see the suspects.
DET. Wolf
Send in the suspects.
Int. Lineup Room
In the lineup room, five dark figures line up. The lights turn on.
We see that the people are all dressed as chess pieces. We see, from #1 to #5, the BLACK PAWN, KNIGHT, BISHOP, ROOK, and QUEEN. They squint at the lights.
Int. Viewing Room
WANDA
Anything, Ms. King?
Ms. King
I don't know. They all look so alike.
Darius
I'll have you know that racial profiling is grounds for appeal.
Wanda
Not now, Darius.
Ms. King
Can you have #1 step forward?
DET. FISCHER
#1! Step forward.
Int. Lineup Room
The Pawn, a short person, steps forward.
Int. Viewing Room
Ms. King squints.
Int. Lineup Room
Pawn
I'm just... Just a...
Bishop
A pawn?
Pawn
A patsy!
Int. Viewing Room
Ms. King
No, it wasn't him.
Det. Fischer
Thank goodness she didn't pick him. He wasn't in range.
Det. Fischer shows Wanda a chart which shows a crime chart which shows the victim and where the killer was located. It also looks like the overhead of a chess board, and the killer was across the board.
Det. Fischer
#1, you can step back in line!
Wanda
Anyone else Ms. King?
Ms. King
I don't think it was #2.
The Knight looks nervous.
Darius
Why not?
Ms. King
He was all the way in the other room. He couldn't have leapt through a wall to kill my Uncle!
Darius shrugs.
Wanda
What about #3?
The Bishop looks nervous.
Ms. King
It can't be him. A man of the cloth.
Both Wanda and Darius roll their eyes.
Det. Fischer
#1, you can step back in line!
Wanda
Well that leaves #4 or #5.
The Rook and The Queen eye each other.
Ms. King
Can I see #4 again?
Det. Fischer
#4, please step forward!
The Rook steps forward.
Ms. King squints.
Ms. King
My uncle was sitting in his sitting room, minding his own business when it happened.
Int. Sitting room
UNCLE HANK KING sits, sipping a cup of tea.
Ms. King (VO)
Suddenly, I saw a flash from straight down the hallway. And then a scream. And then he was dead.
Int. VIEWING ROOM
Darius
You said straight down the hallway, right, Ms. King? That is to say, not diagonal?
Wanda
That's enough, Darius. Ms. King. Do you know of any reason that someone would want to kill your uncle?
Ms. King thinks.
EXT. Sidewalk
A younger Ms. King and Uncle Hank walk down the sidewalk. A BOY is playing catch. The ball lands near Uncle Hank. He picks up the ball.
Uncle Hank
Ha, you throw like a girl!
The words "You throw like a girl!" echo over and over again as we see the boy's eyes narrow in anger.
Int. VIEWING ROOM
Ms. King
It's her! She was the little boy who threw like a girl!
Det. Fischer
But now she's a full grown woman?
Ms. King
Yes?
Wanda
How?
Queen
I got to the end of the board.
The people in the viewing room turn to look at the Queen, smiling, who is holding a black pawn in her hand.
Det. Fischer
I didn't see that coming.
CUT TO:
The suspects file out of the lineup room, the Queen in handcuffs led away by Det. Fischer.
WandA
It looks like an open and shut case.
Darius
So you think you can get it to stick in court?
Wanda
I've beaten you my fair share.
Darius
Let's just call it a draw.
THE END
10:00 pm. The director thinks I can help inject story into the script. I and another writer say to the guy who wrote the chosen script, respectfully, that while the dialogue is funny the actual plot elements don't make any sense whatsoever, and we suggest a change in which the cop has a partner and is not acting completely alone. He pretty much shrugs and says "it's a comedy", except that it doesn't even make the amount of sense as a scenario on Reno 911. I pretty much decide to let him write the script he wants to write, rather than start an argument.
12:30 am. Back at home, back to bed. Can't really help much with the script. The things I'm concerned about aren't the things they're concerned about, and I think trying to impose my vision on them when they don't want it is counterproductive. It'll be somewhat fun but completely disjointed. Oh well.
12:30 am. Back at home, back to bed. Can't really help much with the script. The things I'm concerned about aren't the things they're concerned about, and I think trying to impose my vision on them when they don't want it is counterproductive. It'll be somewhat fun but completely disjointed. Oh well.
Too many people in the room. Once again.
Sunday, 12:00 noon. Not a frame of film has been shot. Fun visit to Garment District, though.
3:30 pm. Had to leave the filming at this point. By my estimation, only 1/3 of the script had been filmed. It's possible that they may miss the deadline, or have to shorten what they filmed.
Monday, 9:00 am. Word came in that the movie arrived with seconds to spare. Now to see where the movie is aired in the lineup on Wednesday. Generally, it seems that the better movies are aired near the end of the lineup.
10:15 am. I'm trying to figure out how to express how important it is in a 48HFP situation to give the writers space to breathe. Something like "After three people, every extra person in the room offering suggestions lowers the chance you'll have a good script by 10%." I'm sure there are exceptions, though, like maybe a trained improv troupe which is practiced in sharing and building on ideas. 10 people hovering around a writer is a recipe for mediocrity, though.
Sunday, 12:00 noon. Not a frame of film has been shot. Fun visit to Garment District, though.
3:30 pm. Had to leave the filming at this point. By my estimation, only 1/3 of the script had been filmed. It's possible that they may miss the deadline, or have to shorten what they filmed.
Monday, 9:00 am. Word came in that the movie arrived with seconds to spare. Now to see where the movie is aired in the lineup on Wednesday. Generally, it seems that the better movies are aired near the end of the lineup.
10:15 am. I'm trying to figure out how to express how important it is in a 48HFP situation to give the writers space to breathe. Something like "After three people, every extra person in the room offering suggestions lowers the chance you'll have a good script by 10%." I'm sure there are exceptions, though, like maybe a trained improv troupe which is practiced in sharing and building on ideas. 10 people hovering around a writer is a recipe for mediocrity, though.
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